The name’s Bruceman Superhero by trade I fight crime for the city It’s how I get paid. With a cape, on my back I protect one and all But being super’s easy When you’re 7 feet tall. And I’ll never, Sleep soundly, While evil, Runs free, I’ll fight, To the end, This I guarantee! I’m Bruceman the Stupendous, My muscles are tremendous, A champion of justice, One hundred percent! I’m Bruceman the Stupendous, Making crime feel horrendous, And I fight, for what is right, And to pay the rent! (Ahem) I fight day and night, Until the streets are clean, Criminals beware, I protect the scene, Moving on up, Well on my way, Let my deeds be known, Because I’m here to stay! Preparations complete, Countdown imminent, prepare for blastoff (10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1 GO!) You want heroics? I’ll give you heroics. There goes Bruceman he’s a fine lad, The best superhero our city’s ever had. X4 I am one million feet tall of awesome! And so are you! We all are! Let me teach you the true meaning of justice! Fear the darkness, evil doers, for you never know when I shall strike! Bask in my biceps, Tremble at my triceps! I’m Bruceman the Stupendous, Remember my name.

Narrator: Enemies have been defeated, fans have been gained! And with an audience of over 9,000 online, Bruceman faces his toughest challenge yet! Applying for a job at the League. League Guardian: You walk in here, Like you own the show, All hyped up, And ready to go, Wanna save the day, But do you really know, What it takes to be a true hero. Show me your reference, And credentials, Can’t work with the best, If you don’t have those, This is the big time, We fight real foes, Don’t make me laugh, You’re not a pro. You think you’re ready, You think you’re ready, You’re wrong! You’re not ready! You think you’re ready, You think you’re ready, You’re wrong! You’re not ready (For the big time!) You’re not ready! You’re not ready! You think you’re ready, I don’t see how, Life’s not a game, Time to grow up now, Step right up, You’ll get knocked down, Just shut up and listen! So full of yourself, You just can’t see, The superhero, You pretend to be, You’re not ready for, Responsibility, You’re not ready, you’re not ready for the big time! You wanna be the best? Well get in line, It’s not that easy, To wipe out crime, Half-rate heroes, need not apply, Get out of my face, Quit wasting our time. Go back home, And just resign, You’re shooting for the stars, With an aim too high, Give it a rest, Your fame’s a lie, Now please vacate, Better Luck Next time. Bruceman: What is this MADNESS? Are you for real? Oh! It's a joke! Ha Ha Ha! You've got a super sense of humor. League Guardian: Joking? Your ego is suffocating! There is more to being a hero than having super strength and a fan club. But that look on your face... You still don't get it, do you? Your credentials are not what we're looking for, and your skills lack refining. How would that make the rest of us look? Get your head out of the clouds, kid. Your pompousness is going to get you killed. Or worse! Now listen up! You think you’re ready, I don’t see how, Life’s not a game, Time to grow up now, Step right up, You’ll get knocked down, Just shut up and listen! So full of yourself, You just can’t see, The superhero, You pretend to be, You’re not ready for, Responsibility, You’re not ready, you’re not ready for the big time!

Our hero's ego takes a nasty hit and learns that he's just not good enough. Fortunately, Bruceman pushes on. He knows he has what it takes and refuses to give up!

They said that I’m not ready, They said I’m not good enough, They said my belly’s too flabby, They said I should give up. Maybe they’re right about me, That I’m not right for this hero stuff. Maybe I should’ve listened, But I’d rather call their bluff. I’ll give them a real hero, I’ll show them I’m good enough, It’s time that I changed for the better, It’s time that I measured up. Love handles and apple pies, It’s time for me to say goodbye, I’m sick of being super-sized, A hero, I’ll be born, anew! One million push-ups, Then ten million more, I’ll be chugging wheat grass, Until I hit the floor. I’ll reclaim my glory, No giving up anymore, Working Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger, Than I ever had before! I’ll become a real hero, One sauna at a time, I’ll give them more than they asked for, And no longer be their punch line. Pumping lead and eating right, For the sake of justice, I keep up the fight, My destiny I will re-write, A hero, I’ll be born, anew!

Negabruce: (laughter) Brucedweeb The Stupidest! So glad of you to come. Your friends have been sharing me some very interesting facts! Guess what! They hate you! Hahaha! Bruceman: Negabruce! My twin-brother fiend! I won't fall for your lies and villainy! Negabruce: Lies? Let me tell you what's up, chump! Negabruce: So you think all of this, will give you what it takes, Drinkin straight from the lawnmower, playing with your weights. All your little friends think that you’re a cocky fake! Quit while you’re ahead, for your own sake. Bruceman: My friends? No brother! You’ve made a mistake! Negabruce: Stupid little brother, let me punch you awake. Struggle all you want, you’re still gonna break. Taking care of you will be a piece of cake! Bruceman: Fight fair you manipulative monster! Negabruce: Fair? Ah Ha Ha ha! So funny! Bruceman: That's it, I'm telling Brucemom! Negabruce: You big baby! Always the same, running to her for protection. It's no wonder she loves me more! Bruceman: Aaaargh!!! Taste my Justice! Negabruce: Temper, temper! Nya ha ha ha ha! Negabruce: There goes Bruceman he’s a dumb lad, Stupid grin on his face, wedgie over his head! Lost all your friends, it’s really quite sad, Quivering like a baby, who just wet the bed! Here comes NegaBruce, the baddest of the bad. Get out of his way, or you’ll end up dead! Well you’re feeling lucky chump? Then go right ahead! You’ve got a death wish?, I’ll make you see red! You fight me? You must be brain-dead! Your mommy should have told you, to watch where you tread. Negabruce: Oh Bruceyboy, bruceyboy. I feel bad that it took you so long to realize how pathetic you are. Well, not really! HA HA HA! I'm surprised the city hasn't burnt to the ground yet with you tripping over your cape like that. Bruceman: I'm sick and tired of your words, Brother! No one shall fear you anymore! Negabruce: I've never seen a more pathetic hero, zero. Consider all of this "Brotherly love." Oh, and... Grandma says "hi." Bruceman: This isn't over, Negabruce! You took my friends and family from me! You shall pay! Negabruce: It isn't over? Have it your way, dork. Negabruce: So you really want to stand, Toe to toe with the man, I think you must have, Your head buried in the sand, Maybe tough love, Will make you understand? I know what will make it CLEAR. I’ll fill your tiny brain with FEAR. All your courage disa-PEAR. When you get caught in my LEER. Mental scars shall apPEAR. I’ll knock you straight into next YEAR. I’ll break your chunky little REAR. I’ll kebob you with my SPEAR. I think you need a new caREER. One where I am never NEAR. How is this still unCLEAR? Time to be more SEVERE. You will never perserVERE. When I’m in the same light-YEAR. Here’s one last souveNIER. YOU’RE DEAD.

Bruceman: What happened? Where am I? Inner Demons: (Spoken taunts) The idiot doesn’t even know himself. Figures doesn’t it? Why am I not surprised? Hi everyone, I’m Bruceman the stupendous and I’m the best superhero that New York has ever seen in the last twenty years. Oh my oh my, I think Quiznos is better than junky Subway. And I should know! I’m Bruceman of course! I can’t even come up with a clever name for myself so I just use the name I was born with. Isn’t that fun?? Bruceman: I can’t hang on to anything, I’ve already lost it all, The woman I loved, my friends, my fame, How much lower can I fall? I did this all to myself, I’m the only one to blame, Do I deserve to be their hero? When all I feel is shame? Inner Demons: You are useless, Completely worthless, Sleep little hero, Embrace the darkness. Bruceman: My friends have turned their backs, My comrades abandoned me. What have I done wrong, Why can I not see? These voices pounding in my head, Can’t be good for my health. How can I protect my city, When I can’t even save myself? Inner Demons: You are useless, Completely worthless, Sleep little hero, Embrace the darkness. Bruceman: If no one believes in me, I’ll have to believe in myself, The only thing worse than losing, Is going home and giving up, I can’t stop now, I won’t ever quit, The odds are stacked against me, But I feel like I can win, I’ll become a real hero, One step at a time, I’m Bruceman the Stupendous, And I never say die. Inner Demons: (Taunts) Bruceman: Get of my head! Get out of my head! You're wrong! I will succeed, I WILL be a hero someday! That's it. I've head enough! Get out of my head. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Sara: Where were you when I needed you? Bruceman: I don't know what to say...

After his internal voyage, Bruceman is finally aware by just how much his fears and failures haunt him. He's convinced that he must rediscover himself. With that, our hero travels far East across many lands and seas in search for some answers. He searches both high and low until a peaceful Shaolin monk sees that there is great potential in him. Together they travel high atop a Tibetan mountain where a school of majestic warriors train. It is here that Bruceman is taught empathy, humility and even inner peace. With time, Bruceman is able to transform into the person he always wanted to be, a real hero.

Monkey King: Stupid fools! You dare to imprison a god like me? Were you not thinking? I shall kill you all! Monk: It's the Monkey King! Run! Monkey King: Ah, fresh meat! Bruceman: Evil Monkey King! So, the legends are true. Do not harm these people, they are not your enemies. Monkey King: A masked man? You would be wise to keep your mouth shut. I was once their savior! I was once their god! And yet they confine me for centuries! They shall die for their impudence! Bruceman: You’re insane! Let me teach you the true meaning of JUSTICE! Bruceman: (coughing up blood) This is not good... Monkey King: Insolent boy! You could’ve escaped. I would’ve spared your life! What kind of hero dies in battle? Bruceman: I'm...Not...Dead...Yet! Monkey King: (laughter) We'll see about that! Monkey King: Your blood feels cleansing on my fists, “hero!” I can hear your soul begging to escape this torture! Let it go, boy! Let it go! Sara: Get up, Bruceman. Bruceman's fans: (Words of encouragement) Bruceman! Bruceman! Bruceman! Bruceman! Bruceman! Bruceman! Bruceman: Is that all you got, Monkey? Monkey King: Who are you? Are you some kind of a demon? Bruceman: I am Bruceman and don't you forget it! Monkey King: What a miserable filth of a human! I laugh at you! (laughter) Bruceman: Laugh all you want, you damn dirty ape! Monkey King: Fine, Bruceman! You want to dance? Then have at it! Bruceman: Gladly! Monkey King: I have fought with dragons! Giants! The heavens themselves! Bruceman: I don't care, your fight is with me now! Monkey King: Such cockiness! I bested the gods! You’ll be nothing more than a footnote in my legend! Bruceman: The world has forgotten you! What kind of King rules in an urn? Monkey King: No, no no no no no! This is not how it’s supposed to happen! Bruceman: You arrogant beast! Can't you see you're not the king you once were?! Monkey King: How dare you defile me! Keep talking, and you’ll be nothing but a stain beneath my foot! Bruceman: Give it a rest, Bananabreath. Bruceman and Monkey King: (Strenuous shouting) Bruceman: More people are going to get hurt at this rate. There’s no end to this monster’s power! He could destroy the entire world! I have no choice but to go all out. Monkey King: That power! Where did you learn that!? Bruceman: There is enough evil in this world without your rage! This ends now! Monkey King: B-Bruceman, Stop! Bruceman: Submit, Monkey, your reign is over!

With the monster defeated, Bruceman stares at the beast eye-to-eye. Just then, our hero comes to a realization. Before his journey, his arrogance and ego were nearly identical to Monkey's. If he didn’t lose everything and travel onward to fix his life, his fate could've been the same. Showing signs of compassion, Bruceman offers friendship to his enemy. Surprised by this olive branch, Monkey is humbled. A bond is formed, and with that, the two decide it is time to head home.

Bruceman: Alright Bruceman, time to nail this interview. No big deal, just the League of Extraordinary Superdoers. So what if they rejected me last time? That was before the training and all of those battles. I’m ready now. Time to put on my game face and win this. Prepare yourself League! Bruceman has arrived! League Guardian: The spring in your step, That look in your eye. Somethings changed about you, This I can’t deny. You look a little stronger, Different from last time, You now have what it takes to be, A powerful ally. You’re looking like the hero, You were always meant to be. A brand new costume, super powers, Personality. You may be over-qualified, As far as I can see, Come in, sit down, get comfortable, And welcome to the League. League Guardian: Are you ready? Bruceman: Yes I’m ready. League Guardian: Are you ready? Bruceman: I know I’m ready! League Guardian: Are you ready for the League and the responsibility? (YEAH!) League Guardian: Are you ready? Bruceman: Yes I’m ready. League Guardian: Are you ready? Bruceman: C’mon already! League Guardian: Then grab all your gear and come along with me! If you’re ready for the glory, then you’re ready for the show, You’re ready for adventure, and to fight the biggest foes! Right this way, follow me, Your legacy it grows, As you follow in the footsteps, Of all the great heroes. League Guardian: (Spoken) Let’s look at what you’ve done. Bruceman: Please do. League Guardian: I see you got in shape. Dropped fifty pounds! Good for you! Bruceman: Thanks. League Guardian: You lost your friends, the support of your family, and even your prestige? But, you still didn’t give up? That’s quite the spirit. Bruceman: It was a hard time. League Guardian: After that, you traveled out East? And then what’s this? You fought the Monkey King? Bruceman: He was accidentally released. League Guardian: That beast is a deadly force! How are you still standing? Bruceman: It was a tough fight. League Guardian: Well, You have my vote! Better, stronger, faster, smarter, This is what I see, Now you have just what it takes, At long last you are ready. You are now the hero, That you were always meant to be. Embrace your true calling, Enlist and join the League. We heard of your deeds, How you tamed the great ape, Turning you away before, Was a big mistake. Let’s skip the formality, Cut through all the red tape, You’re exactly what we need, A hero in a mask and cape. Your powers are exceptional, I wish that they were mine, Not hiring you, Would be the greatest crime, Welcome to our order, Please do not decline, Sign right here beneath the X, And welcome to the big time.

Success! After becoming a certified member of the League, Bruceman prepares for an epic battle. He travels to the lair of his arch rival, nemesis and dear ol' brother, Negabruce. It is time to reclaim his glory.

Negabruce: (laughter) Bruceman: NegaBruce… Negabruce: Aaaah. Bruceman! I've heard rumors of your return. You've been gone for quite some time. Bruceman: NegaBruce, release your prisoners. Their family misses them. Negabruce: Look around you. It's a nonstop party in my honor! Why would I want to stop something like that? Be a good boy and skidaddle! Didn't you learn anything from me the last time we met? No one wants you around these parts! Bruceman: I am a changed hero, NegaBruce. This time is different. Now I am prepared! Negabruce: You're still an idiot! Allow me to put you in your place. Bruceman: I’d like to see you try. Negabruce: Okay brother dear. You have my attention! Bruceman: I won't hold back! Negabruce: Bring it on! Negabruce: You are stronger… I'll give you that. More nimble too! Bruceman: Where do you think I was all this time? Crying in a ditch? Negabruce: (laughter) You mean you weren't? Bruceman: Taunt all you want! Negabruce: I don’t need your permission, but thanks anyways! Bruceman: Why are you doing this? Come quietly brother! Negabruce: I'm your better half, Bruceman! I feed off of anger and hate! The war against you only makes me stronger! Bruceman: But what good is this power when it destroys the world around you? Negabruce: Everyone is beneath me! The world should be honored to bask in my power! Bruceman: Your arrogance is going to get you killed! Negabruce: How? No one can compare to me! Bruceman: Not the punchline you were looking for? Negabruce: My face! My Beautiful face! Bruceman: Negabruce, you're losing! Throw in the towel. Give up! Negabruce: Hah! Yeah right! Are you sure you're watching the same fight? Bruceman: Argh, stubborn like always! Negabruce: Just like you! Bruceman: Right. Dodge this! Negabruce: What the…OW! That burns! What the hell? Bruceman: I got more where that came from too! Negabruce: You’re moving so fast... Where are you? Bruceman: Right here. (punch) Negabruce: (screaming in the air and lands) Bruceman: Are we done yet? Or do you need more convincing? Negabruce: You really think a few lucky punches can stop me! You’re dreaming if you think this is over. Bruceman: You’re a sad, demented man, Brother... Negabruce: Maybe. But, anything you can do, I can do better, Bruceman! Bruceman: What the hell?! Negabruce: You’re not the only one that’s improved. (laughter) Bruceman: Wh-what is this madness? Negabruce: You foolish little worm! I'll wipe the floor with your teeth! Negabruce: You really want to die this time, don't you? Bruceman: No, not really. Negabruce: (laughter) I'll kill everyone in the building! You could've just left Bruceman! You made this happen! Bruceman: I... will.. save.... EVERYONE!!! Negabruce: Get your hands off me! Bruceman: What’s wrong? Just a little brotherly love, NegaBruce! Negabruce: What do you expect to do? Bruceman: Just watch. Negabruce: This power... BruceMom didn’t teach me that! Bruceman: Heh, then consider this a free lesson! Negabruce: How on earth can a failure of a hero teach me anything!? Bruceman: You forgot one thing, Negabruce! Good always defeats evil! Negabruce: (screaming) Negabruce: Savor this victory, but I let you win fool! You’ll taste real defeat soon! Bruceman: I ... I did it... I won! Narrator: Negabruce's reign has come to an end! Bruceman perseverance has finally paid off. It was a difficult and humbling time. But everything Bruceman experienced was necessary to become a real hero. Times may be difficult, and the odds might be greatly stacked against you. But if a masked man has taught us anything... Aim for the stars! Because, YOU! MIGHT BECOME STUPENDOUS YOURSELF ONE DAY!